Drunken Anecdotes

Location: United Kingdom

Student at Kingston University. Like to write poems and stories. Came from Louisiana,USA to Kingston,UK. Decided to stay in the UK. Making the most of what I can.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Drunk Again (poetic thoughts)

Drunk again stumbling hard
Falling down cut knuckles
Squeeze the loveables
You got their card
Yeah like this again
Happens every now and then

At one point dancing smooth
Lotta ‘nothin’ but love’ to pick up
Break a dance new move
Hour later now you’re f*ck*d
Tap dancing on the dancefloor
Lonely night hopefully for sure

Leave the club
Leave the pub
Acting loud
Little person in a crowd
Maybe you’re average joe or joesphine
Or maybe you’re in a magazine
d-class celebrity that will find god in a week
Faith so vain lacking in the brain
Time you feel you waste feel weak
Doors closing in you’re going insane
Discover god for only £5.95
And you will stay alive

Well anyway I leave the club
Or maybe tonight just the pub
Stumbling like a possessed rick moranis
From ghostbusters one
Now ignorance is truly bliss
As I stumble to my home
Can’t get my keys in the door
Swear under my breath
As I fall and hit the floor
Midnight drunk to the death
I can always start again at one

Oh god damn that hangover!

-james medina

This is one of my poems that I came up with when I was taking a shower this morning. The only thing I want to explain about this poem, is about celebrities finding god or something and claiming "hey all my problems are gone, you can still buy me, cause I got god" Religion and/or spiritually is a person's choice - fine, but when you have people latching onto it in these times of weakness, it's just that (in my opinion) Some people have a hole to fill, try a different hobby. One thing I do say though, if you are an alcoholic, then whatever it takes, you might as well do that, so here's a link for acoholic anonymous Sometimes this involves discovering god. I know it does in America, but if that's what it takes then god bless, y'know?

Anyway just a more serious blog entry for y'all. Tonight no cocktail recipe, stay sober for one night.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Blackouts Burnouts Throwing Up

I vaguely remember dancing like a fool.

My friends and I are in Cardiff. I'm with Zac and James. Pratically my two best friends and we've gone out drinking on the 30th Dec. We didn't binge in a bad way. We just drank steadily until about three o'clock in the morning. Well that can definately do you in. What I am about to tell you, I have no memory of. This is what I viewed the next day on video. Thankfully my friend has no memory of either. By the way, James was the one filming.

Video footage:

Zac and I leave the bar. Lot of swearing. Camera close up of me. I'm asked if I have any words for the camera. I reply "nothing but love. %^*$ You!" Then there is footage of me running off. Then I'm running back to the camera. Another list of expletives. Then I run off again. Fast forward video. Zac and I are trying to get into our hotel room. We keep dropping the keycard. We get in and I try to sit on the bed and instead fall on the floor. This happens three times. What happened next I have no memory of. Neither does Zac. Zac tries to grab a jumper that I'm holding for no apparent reason. I punch him in the face. We hit eachother a few times, then apologise. I fall over again and throw up.

Alcohol can do a lot of damage to your mind and body, be careful.
Cocktail of the night: Bacardi and Coke
Need a place to stay in Cardiff? Go here Travelodge

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Smoking Drinking Being Sick

I got a story to tell!

This a past one as I find this funny. It starts with me drinking at home. I got two girls round. Things are looking very good. They had already been drinking and were very drunk. I try to catch up. I get out a bottle of southern comfort and start drinking from the neck. Pass it round and round and we decide to have a southern smoke, which is what I call blazing a certain substance and drinking southern comfort. Not a good idea. One girl and I are getting along well. Her friend wants a friend. I call my friends. We continue drinking. I'm feeling lifted. My friends arrive. This is good, this way I can be alone with the other girl. I stumble to the door. I drag them in and tell them to entertain the girl. We all sit in my living room drinking and smoking. This was a few years ago, so DMX was playing. I got this girl on my lap and suddenly I feel waves. The room is moving back and forth like at an ocean. Suddenly I found myself running to the toilet. Before I knew it was throwing up. I was in a state. After a bit, the girl helped me get into bed, I tried telling her that I wasn't done, but she was so drunk she didn't listen. Great. I try to tell her goodbye, but end up throwing up over the bed. She leaves. I pass out.

When I wake up, I find that everyone's gone. I hear music playing in the other room. It was very loud. I go to turn it off, only to find that the door knob has broken and won't turn. I can't open the door. I can hear DMX 'Shorty was da Bomb' playing on repeat, and my dog is in there barking his head off. Damn it. I consider breaking down the door, but that would just piss of my dad. I decide the best way to get into the room is to go through the attic. There is a door upstairs on the other side. This is very dangerous, because the attic doesn't so much have a floor to walk on, but more like a few planks. Normally that's fine, but I don't have a flashlight. It's locked in the room that I need to get in. Yeah I was an idiot.

However I do have a lighter, so I go through the attic. I make it to the other side of the house. It was hell. The lighter kept getting too hot to hold, so I had to balance on the wood planks as I waited for the lighter to cool. When I get to the door, I've got another problem. The door is jammed. This damn house. Well there was no way I was going back. If I broke this door, it was less likely that my dad would notice it. So to hell with it, I kicked in the door. I go downstairs. Say hi to my dog, turn of DMX, and walk my dog as I light up another smoke.

Moral of the story: don't drink and smoke if you've got company.

Cocktail of tonight: Southern Comfort (1 shot) Cointreu (1 shot) orange slice and coke

For better Southern Comfort coctails.

Have a good night

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Oysters, Blood, & Pops

This is a story from a man that I have got the most respect for. The story doesn't credit that too much, but let me tell you a drunken story about one of those drunken times.

We'll gon' call the man, Pops. Most likely, I will tell you a couple of tales about Pops. Pops is a natural story-teller, not a writer though. Thus if his stories come out not as funny as they should be, then that's because these stories are meant to be told.
Pops was in a hotel in Europe. He was trying to open an oyster. The oyster opener slipped and put a small, but deep, hole in his hand. No pain, just a quick squirt of blood. Pops put his thumb over the hole and ran out of the hotel. Jumped into a taxi and went to the hospital. Still tightly pressing his thumb over the hole in his hand, he waits a while, until a doctor comes to tell him, his hand if fine and puts a bandage on his hand. A little band-aid, that's it. Pops was somewhat reassured, so he goes back to the hotel to get drunk.

Some friends come up to the room, they drink whiskey and beer, Pops dances with a girl or two. All this is happening in the hotel room. This goes on for hours. Morning comes.

Pops wakes up and blood is everywhere! There's blood on the bed, bathroom and toilet, carpet, door handles, and the bedside table. It seemed that the cut was a little more serious than first diagnosed. A few minutes later, management comes up to his room. We don't know why they just do. Enraged they are demanding that Pops pays for the damage to the room. Luckily for our hero, his friend is there (who we will nickname Cage), who quickly blames the bottle opener that was in the room
"He doesn't have to pay for anything. You have to pay him. He was injured using your faulty bottle opener." Management is taken off guard and apologies repeatedly whilst leaving. Pops leaves the hotel with Cage and they get a beer.

Stick around for more 'Pops' tales cause I got 'em all.

Monday, November 27, 2006


Welcome to the Drunken Anecdotes and like I've said before,

Welcome to my street corner
As I put things in order
I travel across the border
Like a drunken foreigner

Yes these are the tales of the drunken, the stumbling, the happy, the proud, the wounded and hurt. For whatever reason, there are times when many of us end up with a bottle in our hands and we've got a story to tell. As a story teller myself, I've always got a tale to tell. The stories you will read here are ones that I've heard or told, either recently or ones from the past, as I don't drink as much as I used to.

I hope you enjoy these tales as much as I did.

-James Medina